The Diathesis-Stress Model: Why Your Childhood Still Shows Up in Adulthood
Have you ever found yourself reacting way more strongly to something than the situation seems to call for—and you have no idea why? Or maybe you’ve noticed certain patterns in your adult relationships that you logically know don’t make sense, but you can’t seem to shift them. This is where a framework like the diathesis-stress model can be incredibly helpful in understanding why we carry so much of our childhood with us, often without realizing it.
So What Is the Diathesis-Stress Model?
The diathesis-stress model is a psychological theory that explains how mental health symptoms develop as the result of a combination of predisposing vulnerabilities (the diathesis) and stressful life experiences (the stress). Think of it like this:
The diathesis is the soil—some of us have softer, more absorbent soil due to genetics, temperament, or early experiences.
The stress is the storm—it might be a trauma, a loss, a relationship rupture, or even just cumulative micro-stressors over time.
When the two interact, especially without support or resolution, that’s when symptoms start to grow.
This doesn’t mean people with vulnerabilities are doomed. It just means they may need more care, awareness, and support when life gets hard—which, of course, it inevitably does.
How This Shows Up in Your Adult Life
Here’s where it gets real: many of the “predispositions” in the diathesis-stress model can be formed in childhood. A chaotic home, emotional neglect, feeling responsible for others’ feelings, being parentified, or simply growing up without a secure base—all of this lays groundwork for how our nervous system learns to respond to stress.
You might have learned early that love had to be earned, or that being vulnerable wasn’t safe. Those lessons don’t stay tucked neatly in the past. They become the background operating system of your adult life. So when a current stressor—say, a breakup or a big life transition—hits, you’re not just reacting to now. You’re reacting from then.
This is why you can feel like a capable adult and still find yourself stuck in loops you can’t think your way out of. These patterns aren’t about logic—they’re about survival strategies your brain and body adopted a long time ago.
Why EMDR Therapy Can Help
EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) therapy is designed to help your nervous system finally digest those unprocessed experiences. Rather than just talking about your past, EMDR allows you to reprocess the stored memories and associated emotional patterns so they stop hijacking your present.
When we look through the lens of the diathesis-stress model, EMDR helps reduce the impact of both sides of the equation. It soothes the stress response and helps untangle the vulnerabilities that were shaped long ago. This means you’re not just coping better—you’re actually healing the source of the overwhelm.
Ready to Shift the Pattern?
If you’ve been noticing that your past keeps leaking into your present—or if life feels harder than it should and you don’t know why—EMDR therapy might be the right next step. I offer therapy intensives that allow us to go deeper, faster, in a focused and supported way. These are ideal for people who are ready to prioritize their healing and want meaningful progress, not just weekly check-ins.
Reach out today to learn more about scheduling an EMDR therapy intensive. Let’s work together to lighten what you’re carrying, so you can move forward with clarity and peace.
